Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust ...

[Ashley Underwood]

Welcome Boys!

Well I dont think I have to say that I am bitter because I know you guys know that I am.

Brandon, you where the first person in this game and on my tribe that I talked to. And you where pretty much the first alliance in this game that I made. And hearing a lot of things from the last round is really hard to hear! Like apparently if I didn't win the final 5 immunity challenge I would have been voted out of the game instead of Natalie? I really dont understand why you had to back stab both of us this far in the game. I would rather you have voted me out instead of Matt. That's how hurt I am with you.

Grant, I talked to you the most out of our alliance and I though we had really good conversations.. And like Brandon, I just don't understand why you would do something like that to a person who I though build a great relationship with. You told me that the 'competitive' side to you got out to take out me and Natalie, but wouldn't that be just taking it easy to take out players that would be harder to beat? So whats your definition of Competitiveness? Because I don't see it with you.

Burton, I didn't really talk with you all that much, but we did work together in some ways. We both helped each other stay alive in this game. Nonetheless I think you played a great game. You didn't have numbers at all from the merge, but you managed to make it to the end with people who had a smooth sailing. Good job.

Good luck to all three of you..

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[Ashley Underwood]

Burton, I dont know why you are making it seem like I was never online. I was on everyday and on for a long time, The only time I was hardly around was the weekend of the last immunity challenge.. When we both didnt do it. So my heart not being in this game because I couldnt be around for one weekend is really weak.

[Burton Roberts]

Jul 28, 2011 3:54:26 GMT -5 Ashley Underwood said:

Burton, I dont know why you are making it seem like I was never online. I was on everyday and on for a long time, The only time I was hardly around was the weekend of the last immunity challenge.. When we both didnt do it. So my heart not being in this game because I couldnt be around for one weekend is really weak.

I apologize maybe that was a weak statement. I was just telling what I had seen and maybe I was wrong. I am human . I just hadn't seen you online a lot when I was online maybe that is why I didn't notice you online a lot. That was my mistake saying you didn't have any heart and I will take that back. I didn't mean anything personal at all.I just chose Aras over you because I felt he deserved to be there because of all the challenges he won and everything he had been through. He even went out of his way to talk to everyone in the game and to tried to get himself farther in the game. I do believe Aras deserved to be in the finals. I just hope you can understand why I had chosen that.

[Grant Mattos]

Ashley we did have really good conversations and connected really well with one another throughout the game. When you asked me after you were voted out if I was scared to loose against you, I honestly told you yes. My definition of competitiveness had two different meanings in this game, the challenge part and the end game part. In Ometepe when we had to sit so many people out of challenges I never had a chance to demonstrate my endurance side because those just happened to be the two where I was sat out but all the others I did the very best I could and helped the tribe win immunity. The final challenge was one I knew I could do well with, but the timing was just wrong, I had told Bo why I couldn’t do it that night and he said I would be fine if I started the next day, but seeing that Brandon went for over seven hours I knew with the time remaining on the challenge I couldn’t beat him even if I tried. In the end part of the game the only way I knew I would even have a 1% chance to win was to go up against Brandon and Burton. I may not have used the correct word at the time, but I did agree with you that yes, I was scared to loose against you.

[Brandon Quinton]

Brandon, you where the first person in this game and on my tribe that I talked to. And you where pretty much the first alliance in this game that I made. And hearing a lot of things from the last round is really hard to hear! Like apparently if I didn't win the final 5 immunity challenge I would have been voted out of the game instead of Natalie? I really dont understand why you had to back stab both of us this far in the game. I would rather you have voted me out instead of Matt. That's how hurt I am with you.

I know you're upset and hurt and for that I'm very sorry. I wasn't all that thrilled to hear that I irked you and frustrated you, which was something I didn't like hearing. Unfortunately in this game when you have to make critical moves to get to the very end of the game, sometimes this happens where you have to do something where the reaction isn't going to be a positive one. I genuinely like you a lot and the same goes with Natalie, when I had to vote you both out those were the toughest votes I had to cast the entire game. I anticipated had the Ometepe 4 made the final 4 that Natalie and You would try and vote me out had I not won the final immunity challenge. I know Grant had a final 3 with you both and since neither You or Natalie were talking that much to me lately and nothing about end of games plans, I had to go with what I believed was a much clearer path to the end, with Grant and Burton. I knew Burton wouldn't vote for me at the final 4 and was fairly positive Grant wouldn't and that situation was just a lot more beneficial for my game. I hope you realize where I'm coming from here where it was a strategical move and not voting you out for fun.

This whole wishing I had voted you out when Matt went is absolutely crazy talk. You made it to the final 4 where a lot of people in the game would have loved being and had you just won immunity you were going to the end. I was loyal to you and worked with you almost the entire game, except until the last couple rounds. When Phillip and Fran wanted me in their core alliance on Ometepe, I went against them because I felt much better working with You, Grant, and Natalie. When we were on Nuyaxha I busted my ass on all the challenges that way we wouldn't have to worry about tribal councils since it could have easily been split 4-4 which would have been a mess and later we could make merge and grab the 2 Zap's for majority. When your name came up for the 1st merge vote, I made sure we had the numbers that way you wouldn't go. Ashley, I've had your back a lot in this game and I had to make a choice at the end where it was more beneficial to go to the end with Grant and Burton. You couldn't really begrudge me for making my best move can you? You were a huge jury threat along with Natalie, the jury was rooting for you both and you both would have been very difficult to beat. Yes, it's true where I would have rather voted you out instead of Natalie at the final 5 only because I thought you were a tougher beat at the end in case one of you girls did make it there. I had to make a decision where I believe it gave me the best chance to win and I'm sorry if you're hurt and upset, but in reality if you are planning to not go with me to the end anyway I'd say I made the best move to ensure I'm here.

Also if there is any falling out with me not pming you back, I can't receive pms because they are disabled ( I believe you know this). I haven't had pms since the auction and I see 5 in there from I'm sure you and some other people. Had I been able to read pms, you bet I would have pmed you back because I always do when somebody sends me one. We haven't really talked much the past couple rounds where I think you just felt comfortable in your final 3 alliance. This had been the case for a few rounds now and by not really talking much I don't think I really lied to you about either of the last 2 votes since you really never asked me how I was voting.